


All I want is nothing (and you’re nothing to me)

by snazzybaby



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Anal Sex, Fluff and Angst, Frerard, Heartbreak, Internalized Homophobia, Kissing, Love Confessions, M/M, Prorev, Revenge Era Frank Iero, Revenge Era Gerard Way, Smitten Frank, Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge Era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-22
Updated: 2020-04-23
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:33:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23780872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snazzybaby/pseuds/snazzybaby
Summary: Frank confesses his love to Gerard who is in huge denial of their relationship that formed over the years.
Relationships: Frank Iero/Gerard Way
Comments: 3
Kudos: 22





	1. Chapter 1

Frank finally got the courage to put the folded loose leaf paper on Gerard’s car seat. He knew he left the passenger seat’s window cracked for temperate regulation. Frank knew he would have the chance right after practice to slip it in and leave. 

It was 2007 and the band had just gotten home from prorev performance. Frank decided that the anxiety built up needed to be released. These 5 years with Gerard made him realize how badly he kept inside that he was in fact bisexual. And he was in fact helplessly in love with the lead singer of his band. After they shared their first kiss on stage in front of everyone... he thought maybe there was a chance the feelings were reciprocated.

When he first joined, he thought that this band would be his big break. The chance for him to do what he loved. He never intended to go through the hurt he would endure for the next 6 years. He was full of hope in this day that he left the note. The sweat on his forehead dripping down his temple with each huff as he walked to his car parked only a few spaces away. He was nervous as hell. 

Frank didn’t have the time to sit in the car and watch Gerard read the note. He needed to get home to his ... girlfriend. The real love of his life. And the woman he was going to spend the rest of his life with. She always missed him after the long days with the band. 

It was pathetic! To write a note? They were both grown-ass men, and Frank couldn’t simply put and say it? Nope. Definitely not. Frank had always been better with words on paper or on a computer. Typing and writing made things easier to spill out. Words always got caught in his mouth and never came out right. 

—

Gerard said his goodbyes to Ray and his brother, walking to his car. He was going to get married very soon. He was happy with his life and the woman named Lindsey that would be his and only his. There was a small paper that was folded into fourths on his passenger seat. “Did I get a fuckin’ ticket?” He had no idea why he thought that... tickets don’t look like that. He unfolded it. “Oh-“ it was long as fuck! He leaned back in his seat, fixing his legs to be comfortable before reading it.

“Dearest Gerard,  
I would never be able to tell you this out loud. There is absolutely no easy or simple way to say this. You’re the only person I think I could truly spend eternity with and never get tired of you. Your eyes are so deep and beautiful. Your cute little teeth when you smile makes my heart skip a beat. Your voice is so soothing and wonderful to listen to. I wish I could hear you all the time. These years alongside you through everything have been the most fun and the happiest I’ve ever been. When our lips touched I felt nothing other than butterflies that flew through my body like they were on drugs. My eyes went blurry and i couldn’t focus on anything for so long rather than you. You’re presence and the taste of you. I could never bare to be without you. You are my air and my blood. You make me feel emotions I didn’t know existed. I am so in love with you, Gerard Way. 

Xoxofrnk “

Gerard didn’t know how to feel. He wasn’t gay, he wasn’t bi, he wasn’t in love with Frank, and he felt terrible. Did he really end up leading Frank on so badly? They all seemed so straight and just kidding around. This couldn’t be true. They weren’t in love and they never were. Frank was a great person. His best friend!

He had to tell him... in person. 

Gerard drove home almost in a trance. He thought over every second the spent together. Was it more than friendship? Totally not! There had to be some sort of mistake. Gerard has fucked up this man and never once thought twice about it.

As he pulled out the keys, unlocked his front door and stepped inside, the cool air of the quiet house hit him. He needed to tell Frank he didn’t love him back. It would be so hard to break his best friend’s heart like this.

Gerard set down his things and quietly made his way into his bedroom. He pulled back the covers and undressed. His phone buzzed and it was a text. Mikey.

“Hey! Had lots of fun with you guys. See you soon bro :)” 

Gerard smiles weakly and licked his lips as he typed a response. 

“See u soon. Love u bro.” 

Then, he clicked out of the conversation to see Frank’s name in his recents. 

‘Frankie’

Gerard twittled his thumbs before typing out a simple request. 

“Meet me at my place tomorrow? We need to talk, ok?” 

Gerard wanted to seem very nonchalant and sweet. There was no reason to be cold just yet. Frank was in love and he couldn’t hurt him too bad. 

The dark haired man threw his phone to his bed and grabbed the towel from the rack next to his dresser, making his way to the shower. He needed one and he was sure everyone else did. 

The shower sprayed hot water on the tile floor, the drain making its signature noise as the water sunk into it. Gerard stepped in and let his hair get sopping wet. He would need to be presentable and not look like a funeral director while he rejects Frank. He needed to smell and look ... good. 

Gerard washed his hair and body, and shaved his stubble. The shower lasted almost 20 minutes longer than it needed to. Gerard now was groggy and out of it. 

Sleep. Gerard slept for 10 hours. His alarm didn’t go off and he was awoken by the doorbell. Oh shit. Frank? 

“One sec-second!” He shouted was loud as he could. Gerard turned on the lights to the house, his pajama pants almost tripping him. His hair was everywhere and he was sure his breath smelled terrible. “Fuck!” He ended up actually tripping on his way to the bathroom. He swished mouthwash for 10 seconds before spitting it everywhere and rubbing to open the front door. 

Frank stood there, a single daisy in his hand. He was wearing his pink belt, a tight, small tee shirt and low rise jeans. “Come in.” Gerard wasn’t sure how to do this. It was too hard. 

Frank thanked him and giggled at his appearance. “Did you just wake up?” The answer of obvious, but still, conversation was needed. “This is for you by the way...” Frank felt silly, blushing behind his long hair. 

“I did- and thank you.” Gerard took the flower and took a second before plucking off a bit of stem and sticking it in Frank’s hair. He giggled and ran his fingers through his messed up hair, trying to regulate it. 

“Do I look pretty?” Frank said, half joking. 

“Very.” Gerard answers back. Frank was pretty. So pretty that it pained him that he didn’t love him back. He should- but he doesn’t. Gerard has fucked around with guys before, but only when he was younger and ... drunk. Gerard defused to believe he was anything but straight. 

Gerard and Frank stood in the living room awkwardly for a second before Gerard snapped out of his thoughts by inviting Frank to sit on the couch. He accepts and sits dangerously close to Gerard, their thighs almost touching. Gerard blushed and leaned away. “Look, I- I got your note.” 

Frank swallowed thickly. That tone and use of words isn’t followed by anything good and he knows that. “Oh...” he scooted away. Tears burned in his eyes. Was it really happening? Was he really being rejected? 

“Don’t cry, Frankie, please?”

“Was it all just- friendly? All the cuddling? The hand holding? The k-kiss? You... always hugged me longer than - than ray and Mikey! You helped me sleep on nights where I was sad... you /made/ me fall in love with you. And you’re... not in love with me...” Frank slowly took it all in once the room filled with silence. 

“I’m getting married.” Gerard has to spit it out at one point. Frank began to sob at this point. 

“To who?! When? What? Why... when were you gonna even tell me?” Frank sniffled grossly and wiped his eyes with his shirt, making the grey turn black. The clarity of eyesight left as soon as it came, more tears falling. 

“I love you, Gerard.” Gerard pulled Frank into a hug and rubbed his back, shushing him softly.

“I know, I know..shhhh.” Frank pulled out of the hug and got up. “Wait-“ Gerard grabbed Frank’s wrist. “Her name is Lindsey.” Frank only scoffed and tried to pull out of Gerard’s grip. 

“Let me go! You don’t need me here!” Gerard pulled Frank harshly and he stumbled and fell into his lap. They made brief silent eye contact before Gerard crashed their lips together, letting the tears fall into their mouths each time they pulled away to breath and go in for more. 

The noises that filled the room were movie-like kissing noises. It was sloppy but full of passion. Gerard knew deep down he loved Frank. But it was so deep deep down. Hidden under all the self hate and blindness. Yet, they kept kissing. 

Frank soon broke it and laughed sadly. “What are we doing?” Gerard licked his lips, looking into Frank’s hazel eyes. 

“I don’t know.”


	2. The part where they had goodbye sex and Frank doesn’t know it’s a goodbye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one they fuck in

“What are we doing?” 

“I don’t know.” Gerard’s soft response was quickly followed by a more powerful kiss. They were both confused and Gerard was lost. He lost himself in the hot breathing and moaning. 

Frank took this time of exchanging spit to crawl into Gerard’s lap. Frank’s fingers tangoes into Gerard’s hair, but the older man pushed his face away. “No no - we can’t... I’m not gay.” Frank almost began to cry again, almost too embarrassed to go on!

One thing that made him stay, the hardness that pressed at right into Frank’s ass. “Oh my god you’re an idiot.” Gerard threw his head back as Frank began to grind down and let him own boner become apparent. 

“You want me to fuck you? Is that what you want, Frank?” Gerard began to talk louder, bucking his hips a bit for the needed friction. “You’re a slut, huh?” Frank whimpered and nodded, grabbing Gerard’s shoulders and rubbing their crotches together. 

“Yes sir, I am.” Gerard felt his heart beat faster at the name he used. Why was he being like this all of a sudden? Did he finally know he found a weak spot? He had- and he was going to get Gerard to fuck him. “Please /sir/ I want you~” Frank gave another whine, similar to an animal in pain. 

Gerard picked up Frank and pulled his hair. “Go to my bedroom. On the bed. Undressed. Don’t say a word.” What was he doing? He was lusting so hard for Frank, that even though he was sober, he felt high. Felt drugged. 

Frank obeyed, almost sprinting to Gerard’s bed, switching on the lights and stripping out of his messy clothes. Frank saw his belt and smirked with a dirty idea. Gerard began to undress in the living room, placing his pajamas on the couch and stroking himself to full hardness as he thought of what he would do to Frank.

Frank. His best friend. Gerard wasn’t gay- he wasn’t attracted to men... he was completely okay with and supported everyone in the LGBT community, but he wasn’t like that. Until, now he walked into his bedroom to see Frank completely naked, legs spread, ass in the air, and face plunged into the covers. His wrists were tied underneath his body with the pink belt he wore. 

“Fuck Frankie.” Gerard whispered, nibbling on his lower lip and subconsciously getting onto the bed behind Frank and rubbing his perfect ass. He was smooth. Waxed. Was Frank gay? No, he has a girlfriend and always have. But his skin was butter smooth. Gerard even reached around to grab Frank’s cock and he gasped at the hot, hard dick. He hasn’t had gay sex since... it’s been a Long time. 

Gerard wasn’t into gay sex. He couldn’t be. He didn’t enjoy it. Gerard’s head was swimming with thoughts, as his body did what it wanted all on it’s own. His large hands grabbed a hold of his own cock, rubbing it against Frank’s hole. He was snapped out of his mind when Frank yelped. “Lube!” The twink below him gasped for air, his cheek now pressed into the mattress rather than his nose. 

“Fuck sorry I- I got lost in- never mind.” Gerard growled at his own dumbness and got up to look through his drawers, pulling out a bottle of lube and a condom. Frank made a small noise when he heard the crinkling. 

“I’m clean- please Gee I... I want to see you raw, sir.” Frank attempted to wiggle his ass and purred slightly. “Please.”

Gerard didn’t say anything, but he threw the condom to the ground and began to lube himself up. He took the now wet hand and used two fingers in an attempt to stretch Frank out enough. Gerard didn’t like to brag, but he was big. Big enough to hurt Frank.

The smaller boy yet again made a protesting noise. “I wanna feel it! Please don’t prepare me, Sir I can take it!” Gerard wiped the hand on his duvet (kind of regretting it, seeing as now he would need to wash it) and began to push in.

“You can take it?” Only the tip had popped in before Frank was gasping and growling. “Are you a dog? Why are you making those noises?” Frank only made a small puppy-like noise. And ‘arffed’ Gerard scoffed and pressed in more. “Jesus fuck! Oh god you’re - you’re really tight. Ease up will ya?” He knew Frank was squeezing around it and it felt like heaven, but Gerard was sure it couldn’t feel to great.

“I love it so much, Gee. So big~” Frank was such a masochist, pressing back on Gerard and making his cock move in and out faster than he could even process. 

“Fuck- Frank you- oh god Frank.” Gerard grabbed either hip or Frank’s and decided to slam in. Frank yelped and so did Gerard. Frank loved the pain he got from the stretch, and Gerard loved the pleasure he got from all the squeezing and moving. Gerard pulled out slowly, pushed back in, pulled out, pushed back in; the rhythm too slow for either of them. 

“More! Gee more!” Frank begged was Gerard sped up to an inhumane speed. Frank was now panting and moaning with each harsh thrust. “Oh god- so good so good please ugh don’t stop, sir please!” Frank felt like the air was being knocked out of him, struggling to breathe and get out words. 

—

They both sat in bed, breathing heavily. One man was full of regret and sadness; the other was feeling good, full of cum and ready to live his life. “Frankie?”

Frank smiled widely at Gerard and grabbed his arm, hugging it. “Hmm?”  
Gerard felt so bad. The sex was a mistake. He loved every second of it and that was bad. 

“You- you did really good.” He couldn’t get the courage to say it. He would just have to ghost Frank for however long it takes for him to get the hint. 

It hurt him to be so cruel, but he told Frank he had to leave, shoved him out the door with a small kiss on the lips. The last time.


End file.
